Most Anticipated Comic Book Movies of 2022!

Spoilers: Morbius

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Donny Cates: Hello, my name is Donny, and this is Ryan, and welcome to another bite-sized piece of the Half-Assed Substack Podcast. We're gonna be talking about movies, comic book movies that are coming out in 2022 that we're pretty stoked about. Varying levels of stoked, I'd say. What do you think Ryan? What is your number one?

Ryan Stegman: I gotta tell you, this Morbius movie... I can't wait.

Donny: I know, I'm literally on the edge of my seat about it. I can't wait to see his "bat radar".

Ryan: (Laughs) Tell the people what you're talking about.

Donny: In the trailer, he says that... The premise of that trailer that they tell us is that this is a dude whose whole thing is that he's been studying bats for, like, the better part of his adult life. And he's been researching them for some sort of like a, you know, cure for cancer or something. Right? And then when he gets his powers, his bat powers, or becomes a vampire? I'm unsure. He's talking about all the powers that he has, and he's like, "I'm stronger. I'm faster. And I seem to have some sort of a... bat radar". It's like, you mean SONAR? Like, how would somebody who studied bats their entire life not know, like echolocation? It just reeks of a studio note, the original line was him saying like, "I have sonar, like a bat" or like echolocation. And someone being like, "no one's gonna know what that means". Yeah, bat radar. That makes sense. Okay. Um, what else is next year? Oh, you know what's coming out? The new Thor. That's absolutely my number one. Number one is the new Thor. It looks fucking dope. It's more Taika, more things that Taika makes in the MCU is always going to be the best thing in the world, and obviously I have a little soft spot in my heart for Thor. But also, you were talking about Across the Spider-Verse.

Ryan: I thought that the first one is probably pound for pound my favorite comic book movie. For a long time I was like man, they got to do like, a Pixar rendition of Spider-Man, I thought it would be perfect. And, you know, Sony did it and it was, I was right, it was perfect. And I thought it was just incredible, and I can't wait to see the next one. My kids were super into it, it's something that we all talk about a lot in this house.

Donny: Oh dude, Spider-Verse is not only, like hands-down, the best Spider-Man film that's ever been made, I think that it is an incredible achievement just in the field of animation. Like, the techniques and stuff that they used were just insane, and I was emotional over how much love and care was spent over these characters that I've loved my entire life, that's a major motion picture. Not just some half-assed cartoon that we got, you know, in the 60s or 70s or whatever. It's insane. I can't wait to get more of that. We got Morbius coming out, we got The Batman, which I'm stoked--

Ryan: I think that'll be good.

Donny: I think mainly because of Selina Kyle. That's what I'm showing up for.

Griffin Sheridan: (Appearing suddenly) Are you guys gonna talk about how Black Adam's coming out and it's going to change the hierarchy of power in the DC Universe?

Ethan S. Parker: (Also appearing suddenly) Because the hierarchy of power in the DC universe is about to change.

Donny: Why, why... What is happening?

Ethan: Also, in January's Morbius, the line between hero and villain will be broken.

Donny: Wait, what is happening?

Griffin: A new Marvel legend arrives.

Ethan: We gotta head out. We're gonna head out.

Ethan & Griffin: (Disappear)

Donny: What the fuck was that?

Ryan: Save that for the next evaluation. They are so done.

Donny: Yeah, that is... That is ridiculous. I hear, apparently, that the hierarchy of power is about to be changed in Black Adam, so I'm excited about that.

Ryan: I'll tell you which ones I'm not gonna see.

Donny: Okay.

Ryan: Black Adam. The Flash. And Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom.

Donny: Yeah, those are probably gonna be airplane films for me.

Ryan: I might see The Flash.

Donny: The Flash one's got Michael Keaton as Batman in it, so I'll probably check that one out. That one looks pretty cool. And yeah, it's got fucking Batman in it. It's got like, old school Batman, so I'm excited to see what appears to be their first foray into their, like, multiverse.

Ryan: This is a really dumb question for a guy that works in comics: Did they make an Aquaman movie already?

Donny: Yes?

Ryan: Was it good?

Donny: I don't know. I haven't seen it. Yes, it's got... Who else was in it? Amber Heard was in it.

Ryan: Oh, right, right.

Donny: Yeah, they made an Aquaman and now they're making a sequel.

Ryan: Uh, well if people could write into the chat and just give us things to say about that first one, like just give us opinions to say about the movie so that the next time we talk about it we can pretend we've seen it, like some cool facts from the movie that seem like we saw it because--

Donny: I liked the underwater fights. Those were great.

Ryan: Oh, yeah. I liked when he swam, I like the ocean...

Donny: He swims so fast.

Ryan: I liked his long, flowing hair. What else did I like? His body. His face... Is alright.

Donny: So that has been us talking about films. And we're both so tired. And we hope that you love all these films, and that you go see them with your family, and that you have a good time. But uh... we're gonna go now.

Ryan: Yeah. Screw you guys. Bye.

Donny: (Laughs)

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