RYAN & DONNY'S HALF-ASSED SUBSTACK PODCAST | episode 2

The boys talk the new Spider-Man and Venom trailers! Also wigs!

Friends!!

Before we get into the podcast, we wanted to give you all a heads up that this Thursday at 11am EST (8am PST / 10am central) Ryan will be drawing LIVE yet again! Last week he drew the cover to VANISH issue 2 which can be seen below. As with last week, paid subscribers will be allowed to join the stream live and chat with Ryan and whichever guests decide to pop by! 

This time we are going to do things a little differently to try to maximize the number of people that get to participate by letting one caller in at a time for 5-10 minutes. We will also make time to answer chat room questions as we weren't very good about that last time and we want everyone to have a great time. Hey, THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS! 

To jump on the call, a link will be sent to all paid subscribers shortly after the show begins. Hope to see you there!

Link to the upcoming Thursday stream: 

YouTube: 

Twitch: 

https://www.twitch.tv/ryanstegman

Take a look at last week’s livestream as well as the cover that was created right in front of your eyes!

VANISH #2 cover pencils!

Now back to your regularly scheduled program…

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Welcome back for the second edition of RYAN & DONNY’S HALF-ASSED SUBSTACK PODCAST: You’re in for some piping hot takes and pop culture discussion but mostly wig criticism!

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Supple Boiz: Thoughts on the Spider-Man: No Way Home trailer?

Ryan Stegman: It looks charming.

Donny Cates: Spider-Mans!

Ryan Stegman: Yeah. It looked like a cool movie. It looked like a Marvel movie. Zendaya's great.

Donny Cates: Yeah.

Ryan Stegman: What's his name... Tom Holland's great. Benedict Cumberbatch was really sporting a wig in one of the scenes.

Donny Cates: Okay, can we just talk this entire time about his wig?

Ryan Stegman: It was crazy!

Donny Cates: Here's the thing: Megan and I had an all but, like, getting divorced argument about this. Because I just said the same thing. I was like, "Why is he wearing a wig in that one scene?" And she was like, "He's always been wearing a wig as Doctor Strange", and I'm like, "No, that's not true". And she was like, "Yes, of course it is". And I was like, "What? Wait." And I started pulling up pictures from all the films, and I'll be god damned if he hasn't been wearing a fucking wig this entire time. Like, if you look closely at like, set pictures and everything... It's a wig. It's always a wig. And the thing is, what's always been fucking crazy to me, is that in Sherlock, and in other things that I've seen that dude in, he has a natural head of hair. Like, he is not a bald man. And it looks like he can grow a beard. Like it looks like he has stubble, right? But yet, when he's Doctor Strange, his goatee has always looked fake. His hair has always looked fake. And I don't know why. I don't know. Could they just not figure out how to get his hair to do that? And so it was just easier for, like, continuity to make it--

Ryan Stegman: That might be what it is. I wonder how many of them are wearing wigs now. But I've noticed this a lot lately, and I don't know what's going on in Hollywood. But I feel like the wigs are either getting worse, or the cameras are getting so much better that all I can see is wigs. There's movies that it's totally insane. Like, they'll have this straight hair that doesn't look natural at all. Like, did you see the movie The Big Short?

Donny Cates: No.

Ryan Stegman: They're all wearing wigs in that movie and they look insane. It looks like they're trying to be funny almost.

Donny Cates: I know that Marvel does CGI everything. You've seen that picture of Sam Jackson as Fury, sitting in that chair, and even his gun is CG and stuff. And it's like, man, you couldn't have gotten the dude like a prop gun? Y'all don't have prop guns anymore? That's crazy. So I think it must be, like, cheaper in the long run. And I bet, if I had to really pin it down, it's that these actors are pinned into these contracts. When Benedict Cumberbatch signed on to play Strange, it wasn't just for one film. It was for like, eight, or some kind of crazy shit, right? And so for him, it makes sense to just start with a wig in film #1 so that he can grow his hair long and short or shave or do whatever the fuck he wants to do for other roles. And so they can always just slide him in and make him look like Strange on set. But yeah, you're right. It's never looked more jarring than it has in the Spider-Man trailer.

Ryan Stegman: His hair was so thick in that one scene, it looked like a helmet. The hairline was so even it just looks crazy.

Donny Cates: It's weird. I was thinking, if I was on set, I might look at the director and say like, "Hey, you know how the Sanctum is all frozen over? It's cold. He's got a parka on. How about a hat? How about maybe he has a hat on? That'd be a funny joke, right?" If he has a hat on, like, we just solved the problem right now.

Ryan Stegman: Here's the other thing: Benedict Cumberbatch also has a giant head. Sometimes I can't look away from it in the Doctor Strange movies. His head is massive in comparison to his body. And the wigs only make it look bigger. So they're really accentuating his giant actor head.

Supple Boiz: Got it. Bad wigs. Any thoughts on the Spidey content of the Spidey trailer?

Donny Cates: I don't understand why the internet got so freaked out and exploded over a bunch of shit that we were told, like, nine months ago. Alfred Molina did interviews where he said "Hey, I'm in Spider-Man". But I will say this really quick, everyone online who is like, "Doctor Strange, he's so out of character, he must be Satan because he's doing all this stuff! It's out of character for Doctor Strange to be so irresponsible!" Doctor Strange became Doctor Strange because he was texting while driving. This is a guy whose whole fucking thing is that he's not good at being responsible. His whole fucking thing. He gave up the fucking time stone. He's, fucking, he's just failed up. He's just, like, the whitest white dude of the Marvel U, he just keeps on failing up. I don't know that I have any crazy hot takes for Spider-Man. Except that I don't like the trend that is across the entire Marvel franchise, I do not like the "push a button and my costume comes on" thing for Peter.

Ryan Stegman: They tied him into Iron Man too much. I mean, which is fine. I get it. But yeah.

Donny Cates: I guess I get it. I don't know. I feel like at this point we should be making films about Peter becoming... Because, like, are we gonna keep on making films about Peter being someone's sidekick and being a little kid when Tom Holland is 43 years old? How much longer are we gonna do this like, "I'm a petulant little kid in high school, and OH I just fucked up this thing!" I mean, we already found an insane loophole to keep him in high school for longer, by skipping five years of his life by being, you know, in the dust. Which is *chef's kiss* brilliant. It's a great way to keep him in high school longer. Because it'll make sense that he's 30 and a senior now. I don't know, I just want Peter to solve problems by himself.

Ryan Stegman: I'm gonna take us out of this part by saying I do love that Tom Holland and Zendaya are actually dating. Stay together forever guys!

Supple Boiz: How about that recent Venom: Let There Be Carnage trailer?

Ryan Stegman: They kept the same tone from the first one that I didn't love, but part of the problem with the tone was that I felt like it was inconsistent, and went between this sort of jokey Deadpool-y thing, and the other way where it was, like, completely serious and they didn't seem to know what it was. I think that they've just leaned into the silliness of it, but also, you know, with the horror elements, it could be good. Like my take on it was you should go horror with it. But they didn't really do that in the first one. This looks like more of the same from the first one, so I'm not overly excited, but I thought that Carnage looked great. I don't like that he had a tongue, but he really looked cool in the trailer.

Donny Cates: Can we talk about Woody Harrelson's wig?

Ryan Stegman: (Laughs) His Ronald McDonald wig?

Donny Cates: No, he doesn't have that one anymore! I guess they gave him a haircut in prison. And then when I saw him in prison again in the new trailer, I was like, "Okay, alright. I don't hate that. I don't hate that Woody Harrelson wig". But then when he gets out, he has this, like, mid 90's skateboarder, it all scoops down affair. I don't know what's happening there. Um, I don't know man. Yeah, I think I share all of your same things. I can't really talk about this. Because I know things that happen in that film. I will say that I think fans of the first one are really going to enjoy it. I think fans of Carnage are going to dig the fuck out of it. You know, and if you liked the first one, I think you're gonna really like the second one. I'm excited, you know, to see how they potentially expand upon the mythology of the character. Possibly expand so much that they go outside into space and into the abyss. That's not a clue. I don't know anything in regards to Knull.

Ryan Stegman: It's time though. BRING KNULL IN.

Donny Cates: Yeah, but it's time. Yeah, right? Here's the question that I want to know: If in the future, if they say that Tom Holland's Spider-Man also exists in the world of Tom Hardy's film franchise, right? I want to know, did Eddie or the symbiote get snapped? Because chances are it was either or. Right? If it's 50%.

Ryan Stegman: Get snapped?

Donny Cates: In the snap! Did they get turned to dust? Because that opens up a whole new door of things, right? So that's what I would do. I would also introduce that Eddie had a child named Dylan that Anne was keeping from him, and the child got snapped. And then it's five years later, he comes back, and he's, oh, about 12 or 13 years old, and now he lives with Eddie. And that's what I would do.

Ryan Stegman: And then the next scene is a Marvel executive writing us a check.

Donny Cates: Yeah, a big ol' fat check. That's right.

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