KLC Press Employee Evaluation: The Supple Boiz
Griffin and Ethan get some feedback from Ryan and Donny!
Here at KLC Press, we’re a team. And an important part of every team is open, honest communication. That’s why every so often we like to hold employee evaluations.
Today, Griffin and Ethan (aka The Supple Boiz) get an update on how Ryan and Donny are feeling about their first month of work.
Ryan Stegman: Welcome, boys. It's time for your employee evaluation. Now--
Griffin Sheridan: Well, can I just start off by saying I'm--
Ryan Stegman: No, first of all, you're interrupting. You're interrupting. First of all, I want to say, so that people understand: When this Substack thing happened, Donny and I became multimillionaires. In minutes.
Ethan S. Parker: Right.
Ryan Stegman: Absolutely true (that's not true). But, we also paid each of you guys $400,000 a year to run our Substack. First of all, I would like to say neither of you have drawn a page of VANISH yet.
Donny Cates: Yeah. I wanted to... I'll let Ryan take it away. I'm actually, I'm gonna be quiet for a lot of this. Because Ryan and I sidebarred, and he said, "If you're just gonna fucking scream at them, then maybe you shouldn't talk". Because, you know, for people who don't know, behind the scenes, the boys asked us for an employee... What did you guys call it?
Ryan Stegman: An evaluation.
Ethan S. Parker: So that we can do the best job that we can. I mean, we wanna make sure you guys are pleased.
Griffin Sheridan: Any feedback is good feedback.
Donny Cates: Mmm. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I told Ryan the points that I wanted to kind of cover with you guys. And I... You know, I don't think it's a great idea for you guys to record this, and like, put this out there.
Ethan S. Parker: It's just so we can refer back to it later.
Donny Cates: I was talking, Ethan.
Ethan S. Parker: Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
Donny Cates: …Anyway, Ryan told me that if I was just gonna scream that I should probably be quiet. So I'll let Ryan kind of filter it out. But are you guys getting the general vibe from me though?
Ethan S. Parker: Yeah. Yeah.
Griffin Sheridan: Yeah.
Ryan Stegman: Okay, back to what you guys have done so far. Now--
Ethan S. Parker: I didn't realize you wanted us to do the art on the book. I thought we were just editing stuff and--
Ryan Stegman: Anything! Do anything!
Donny Cates: Do ANYTHING! You guys just sitting around counting your fucking cash?
Griffin Sheridan: No.
Ethan S. Parker: So we're editing stuff and we're doing content planning and--
Griffin Sheridan: The video stuff--
Donny Cates: But you were doing that for free!
Ryan Stegman: You WERE doing that for free.
Ethan S. Parker: Right. We were doing it for free for a time, but it came to a point where, you know, it was like, a lot, you know, with our actual jobs that we have and--
Donny Cates: This is... This is unbelievable.
Ryan Stegman: Listen. We paid you a lot of money. Now, Donny and I, we have a reputation to uphold. We have to wear t-shirts and hats and, you know, look the way that we do on here. I think you guys could afford a suit. And Griffin could probably afford a haircut.
Donny Cates: Thank you. Thank you. Okay, when you guys show up at Target, they make you wear a red shirt, right? Like... you guys are at work.
Ethan S. Parker: I could bring the Target shirt if that makes you feel more comfortable.
Donny Cates: Yeah, it does.
Griffin Sheridan: Did you want me to put... Did you want that right now?
Ethan S. Parker: Do you want the name tag? Or...?
Donny Cates: No, no one needs to know what your name is. And that's kind of the problem. Like, you're simultaneously not doing enough and are TOO involved.
Ryan Stegman: Yeah, that is true.
Donny Cates: Which I don't even know how to solve.
Ryan Stegman: Here's a perfect example for the people watching this. Now, Ethan and Griffin. You guys fancy yourselves like, video guys. Right?
Ethan S. Parker: Right.
Griffin Sheridan: Yeah.
Ryan Stegman: I would like, right now, a CG Spider-Man to swing across the screen. Now, the people watching the show, they are going to realize that this didn't happen.
Donny Cates: Yeah.
Ethan S. Parker: We're not CG guys. We're good at doing hard cuts and--
Ryan Stegman: We paid you $800,000!
Donny Cates: Hey, Ryan, if I paid you that much back when you were like a young kid, if I paid you that much would you figure out how to fucking put a CG Spider-Man swinging through the screen?
Ryan Stegman: After I went to the bar!
Donny Cates: Yeah! And I feel like you guys have done all your bar stuff.
Ethan S. Parker: Okay, well, we'll look into it.
Griffin Sheridan: Is going to the bar a requirement?
Ryan Stegman: I don't know, it's what you're supposed to be doing.
Ethan S. Parker: Are we talking about a three piece suit or...? Or just our Target shirts? Is my question that I still have.
Ryan Stegman: At first it was the three piece suit but I'm all about the Target shirt now.
Donny Cates: Yeah, I like the Target shirts better.
Ethan S. Parker: Okay.
Donny Cates: What else do we need to... Because to evaluate someone's work there has to be work.
Ryan Stegman: I'll tell you this: I got a script for VANISH yesterday, from Donny. He didn't even write the dialogue. Where were you guys on that?
Donny Cates: Yeah.
Ethan S. Parker: Again, I'm confused because I thought we were making content ABOUT VANISH. I didn't know we were making--
Donny Cates: What does content to you mean? So Ryan and I are supposed to just make these comics completely by ourselves, and then you guys get money and the recognition of being around us. Is that what I'm hearing?
Griffin Sheridan: I think what the biggest thing is, is I think we weren't cc'd on a couple of emails. Gmail does this thing, you have to hit "Reply All" or else it's only--
Donny Cates: Well I never sent any emails. You're supposed to be writing all the emails.
Ethan S. Parker: And the work aside, I thought there was an understanding that we were riding on your coattails, so... I'm not sure what the confusion is at this point.
Griffin Sheridan: There was a coattails clause in the contract, I believe.
Ryan Stegman: Today, I had to pick up my own kids from school. What's that about?
Donny Cates: Oh, really? Are you serious? Again?!
Ethan S. Parker: We're not local...? What is-- Do you want us to move?
Griffin Sheridan: Listen, Ryan, I asked the other day if I could come over, we could do the livestream together, maybe have a drink afterwards, you said no, I'm not--
Ethan S. Parker: You said get a haircut. You told him to get a haircut first.
Ryan Stegman: Okay. So my evaluation overall is that you guys are not doing great. Now. I have a suggestion for how we make this better.
Ethan S. Parker: Okay.
Ryan Stegman: Spankings.
Donny Cates: Mmhm. That's what we talked about.
Ethan S. Parker: Administered by... By both of you, or...?
Ryan Stegman: You're closer to Donny, when you're in Arizona, you'll have to drive down to get your spankings.
Donny Cates: No, Ryan. Ryan, we talked about this. They spank each other.
Ryan Stegman: Oh, that's a good idea. That's a whole post.
Donny Cates: That's a whole post. See, now guys: That's content.
Griffin Sheridan: So you want us to write the post where Ethan I will discuss spanking each other as a--
Ryan Stegman: No, just a video.
Ethan S. Parker: Do we need to transcribe it, like we do the other posts?
Donny Cates: Yeah, it's like "slapping sounds". "Rhythmic slapping".
Ryan Stegman: "Slap slap, ow. Stop. You're hurting me".
Donny Cates: Yeah.
Griffin Sheridan: Yeah.
Ethan S. Parker: Okay. Well, we got notes. So we'll make some changes.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
Ryan Stegman: Wait, hold on. For real, you guys are doing great.
Donny Cates: Yeah, you guys are doing great.
Ryan Stegman: You guys have been handling everything great. I send you, like, a million texts a day. I throw curveballs at you constantly.
Ethan S. Parker: (Laughs)
Donny Cates: And I'll say this, on my end. You guys don't text me EVER. And that's exactly what I asked for. And that's perfect. Fuckin' A+. This is the only thing that I'm saying on this podcast that is actually true. When this whole thing started, I told both of them, "I'm not paying you to hear more from you".
Ethan S. Parker: (Laughs harder) That's not a bit.
Donny Cates: That's not a bit! To their credit... Like church mice. Gone. I never hear from them at all. It's fucking... It's phenomenal. I will say this: One of the funniest things is, we have this Substack Slack channel, where everyone's in there talking. And, at one point, someone said, "So have any of you guys like, bought anything insane? Like, with the cash that you've gotten?" People were saying like, "Oh yeah, I got this, I got that, I got this stupid, you know, jet ski or whatever the hell it is". And I wrote, "I hired people to do this whole thing for me. I've never even been on Substack in my entire life". And all the responses in a row were just like "Ah, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."
Ryan Stegman: That's what I was saying! I was like, "why don't you guys have people doing this for you?"
Donny Cates: Yeah, it's funny, literally, to this day, I have never been on Substack.com. I've never logged into it. I don't even know what it looks like. I couldn't log in if I wanted to. Like, Nick Spencer was trying to get me an admin code for a really long time. I told him, I was like: Don't worry about it. It's fine.
Ethan S. Parker: This has been way more revealing than I thought it would be. (Laughs)
Griffin Sheridan: Guys, I'm getting mixed signals overall.
Ethan S. Parker: Yeah, so the spankings--
Donny Cates: Yes. That part was real.
Griffin Sheridan: Okay.
Ryan Stegman: Except, if you guys really could add some dialogue...
Donny Cates: Yeah, you guys could be doing more--
Ethan S. Parker: Credited, though.
Donny Cates: No. If you're looking for your name on a piece of paper, it's on the check.
Ethan S. Parker: See, now I'm back to being confused.
Griffin Sheridan: We don't get checks. Ryan sends us money via PayPal and then I have to wait two weeks to get--
Donny Cates: Is your name on that? There's your credit.
Griffin Sheridan: Um, nobody sees that. I'm on private so no one--
Donny Cates: Doesn't matter.
Ryan Stegman: Here's something I would like to say, people that are listening to this who are free subscribers: Pay to subscribe so that we can pay these guys more money. They're not really making $400,000.
Donny Cates: They're not getting anywhere near that. It's insane.
Ryan Stegman: And then, if you subscribe the next year, we can keep this thing going, and pay them more money.
Donny Cates: Right. To do almost the exact amount of work they were doing beforehand.
Ryan Stegman: Yeah.
Ethan S. Parker: (Laughs)
Donny Cates: Yeah. They are quieter though. That's a big deal for me. It's a really big deal for me. They're really quiet. I'd pay almost any amount of money for that.
Ethan S. Parker: The more money, the less you'll hear from us.
Donny Cates: See, now you're talking. That's smart negotiating.
Kids Love Chains. And we love you.
Quarterly employee evaluations are an essential part of this substack now.
The Supple Boiz are the reason I’m subscribed, who were the 2 guys yelling at them? I’m confused